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My rheumatologist put me on the med Cymbalta after I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I’m trying something new which doesn’t seem to be doing anything because that med was making me so sedated 24/7 or would practically put me in a coma.

I just couldn’t take it anymore when I have a 2 1/2 year old hummingbird on crack. I was told by the doctor that there is an active ingredient, I forgot the name, that some people are especially sensitive to. Yep, that would be me.

So, I was laying on the couch last week while I was still on Cymbalta, trying my hardest to keep my eyes open while my little girl was watching a Little Bear marathon. She started pulling some wrestling moves on me while I was on the couch and knocked over our 10 million remote controls and I went over to pick up all of the remotes.

My husband is always complaining that I have so many of my Mensa magazines all over the house so it’s ironic that it was his damn magazine that almost made me lose an eye.

Okay, they’re really US Weekly magazines but they have really, really important things to say and some great information. Like if you get a nanny, make sure you’re not married to Jude Law. It also really makes you think about and question who in the world is January Jones’ baby daddy.

See, really important world issues.

Here’s a re-enactment, kinda like that show I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant but without all of those bad actors. Also you won’t see me having a baby on the toilet and there’s less blood.

I was laying on our cozy couch when the hummingbird pulled her wrestling moves on me.

Then the remote controls go flying off the right side of the end table. When I went to pick them up, that subscription card thingy that my hubby used as a bookmark practically ripped off my eyelid.

Mothereffer!

Not long after, my eyelid felt like this.

But it was probably more like this.

Either way, paper cuts are evil little bastards and they hurt like hell.